Stop being used

It is deeply painful when we come to realise that we are being used or victimized, whether that is happening at home, at work, or within our community. We act with good intentions, but someone is taking advantage of our goodwill. We often feel crushed, but at the same time we are paralyzed, hesitating to say ‘no’ because we fear the rejection from these people whom we helped or served. First of all, let us bring into our own awareness what violation we are really undergoing; don’t just suffer. Define it clearly: ‘They use my time, my commitment, my work in fact for their own benefit.’ They speak high ideals - good for humanity, service to God and so on, but it looks like our commitment does not yield the promised good. Perhaps through the abuse of power or manipulation of beliefs, they have violated a healthy boundary set to protect our time, energy, feelings, and resources. A healthy boundary protects our inherent worth, and identifying the violation of this boundary is an act of love for oneself and necessary self-justice.

Taking courage means reclaiming our space and setting clear limits on our time and availability. True kindness and generosity can never be built on compulsion or force, nor should it lead to our exhaustion. Take courage and guard the boundary, its not being selfish, but stopping allowing someone using our goodwill and service. We decide to stop doing that for our own good. Continuing to do it is never a sacrifice. There may be occasions where we are highly vulnerable – under the clutch of a powerful exploiter or unable to escape. In such systems, direct confrontation is impossible and unsafe. Here, the necessity of seeking guidance is important: a trusted counselor, therapist, or a spiritual guide is essential for processing trauma and ensuring protection.

All these processes are sustained by Divine Grace. Grace may not become a sudden solution, but as an ever-present strength. Grace never demands that we passively suffer every harm; instead, it offers the internal capacity to hold onto our inherent value even when we are trapped and externally powerless. For the truly helpless, Grace offers the constancy of a presence. This presence offers the recognition that we are loved and valued, even in this condition. The inherent worth that Grace constantly reminds us of is the sustenance until the day we can fully walk free.